spaztic thoughts

my love languages...aka big surprise

2006-03-31T11:09:00.000-06:00

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Physical Touch
with a secondary love language being
Quality Time.

Complete set of results

Physical Touch:		9
Quality Time:		8
Acts of Service:		7
Words of Affirmation:		5
Receiving Gifts:		0

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

sour milk and buttercream candles

2006-02-02T18:48:00.000-06:00

so for the past three days it has not been smelling to great in my apartment. i originally though it was due to the abundance of dirty laundry permeating throughout our place. so, as a mature and responsible person i decided to do laundry. this however did not help the situation. and tonight as i opened the fridge to get a drink i noticed the same pungent aroma coming from the fridge. i then proceeded with the age old process of trial and error. picking one thing after another and taking it out of the fridge and smelling it. i got to the milk, pulled it out, opened it, and just about dropped it from the stink that permeated my nostrils. i mean seriously folks, we are talking nostril hair perm it was so strong. naturally i decided to chuck it down the sink. the smell would not go away. even after i poured half of a thing of bleach down the sink and continuously ran water i could still smell the wretchedness in my nose. praise god for small favors and the creation of buttercream candles. i know smell only the aroma of angelfood cake throughout the apartment.

on an aside, i would like to thank everyone for their prayers in this time of confusion and chaos. God has been faithful as He ever has been in my life and given me direction. i have decided to take a semester off from school to focus my attentions on seeking a full time ministry position, and will be moving home to san antonio next weekend. i love you all and appreciate your friendship and support. i will be signing up for online classes beginning this summer. keep me in your prayers as i keep you in mine.

surprisingly content

2006-01-16T03:14:00.000-06:00

things are quite insane right now. i found out last monday that my tuition was never paid last semester and yet surprisingly went through the whole semester without being contacted about it. now they won't let me sign up for classes until i pay my tuition. the church is supposed to pay their part but seems to be doing so in a somewhat slow fashion. maybe this is God's way of telling me that i need to take a semester off of school, or more likely that He is giving me the desire of my heart to do so. i still have no church job and feel that i am a totally useless person. there is something blissful in all this that i can't explain. i am not worried about any of it. i may have to quit seminary, move out of my apartment to somewhere since i won't be a student, and i have no prospects for a ministry job. none of these things were in my plan yet i remain content. last semester was crazy and depressing, but thus far in this semester i feel more at peace than i have my entire life. i love the Lord for blessing me and continuing to show me how He keeps His promises to me. one of the ladies at mt gilead called me today and told me how much she missed me and what a blessing i was to her. that was a much needed encouragement. then she so adorably added jen and alex's wedding last weekend and asked when it was going to be me. i love old people. the truth is that i have had the opportunity to date some amazing women this past year. none of them were God's choice for me but i still continue to appreciate them as friends and as amazing sisters in the Lord. well this is definitely the most random entry ever, but then again it is after three in the morning. anyway, i love you all.

it's the holidays again

2005-12-23T02:50:00.000-06:00

i don't know what it is, whether it's just my age or the season, that makes me feel so lonely. tonight i got back from a ski trip to colorado with my family. two other familes joined us making for quite a large group. the breakdown was something like this: three married couples, one engaged couple, one almost engaged couple, a boy/girlfriend combo, and my oldest sister and i trailing along without a significant person of the opposite sex. if that wasn't bad enough there were lovey dovey couples everywhere i went, even on the bloody slopes. i mean seriously, WHAT IS THE DEAL??!!?? it is almost to the point when i doubt that there is someone out there for me. not that i don't know some amazing women, it's just that God hasn't opened that door, or He has closed it with a few of them. now i do not write this so y'all will write me sappy, yet patronizing, encouragements on how i shouldn't give up and there's a girl for you. i swear if i hear that one more time i'm going to shut the person up, take off my sock, and shove it down their throat. this is just how i am feeling and what i am thinking about as i lay in my bed in san antonio at three in the morning. and since this is about the most therapeutic thing i have to vent my frustrations on the so be it, this is what you have to read.

i don't normally do this but recently i heard a song that touched on the subject addressed above. keep in mind that i am not a chris isaak fan, but this song just stood out for some reason and i felt that i would share it with y'all.

CHRIS ISAAK - "Life Will Go On"
Broken skies, heartaches that flowers won't mend
Say goodbye knowing that this is the end
Tender dreams, shadows fall
Love too sweet, to recall
Dry your eyes, Face the dawn
Life will go on
All day long thought that we still had a chance
Letting go, this is the end of romance
Broken hearts find your way
Make it through just this day
Face the world on your own
Life will go on, life will go on
There'll be blue skies, every true love
Someday I'll hold you again
They'll be blue skies in a better world, darlin'
Tender dreams, shadows fall
Love too sweet, to recall
Dry your eyes, Face the dawn
Life will go on, life will go on
Broken heart find your way
Make it through just this day
Face the world on your ownLife will go on

the much overdo post

2005-12-07T23:28:00.000-06:00

ok, ok, ok so it's been almost two months since my last post. honestly, there have been many a late nights as i lay in bed that i have debated in my troubled creative mind whether or not i should scribble something out. clearly i haven't produced anything as of yet, but believe me there is a good reason for it. this reason would be that with all the things that have been happening in my life they all pretty much centered around the fact that my internship with my awesome church was ending. as of today i am no longer a staff member of the great little church in keller. i cannot express to any of you how much i will miss the youth of my church. each and everyone of you are dear to my heart and i will never ever forget you as long as i live, i love you all.

thank God for the end of school. i seriously don't know whether or not i could have handled much more of school this semester. christmas break is going to be so awesome. i get to go skiing with family and family friends which is going to be awesome fun anyway. on top of that i get to chill with my future brother in law and hang out and have fun. it's great to finally have equal numbers in the weaver family clan between the men and women. ok, well i don't know what else to say for today so for now i say merry christmas and goodnight.

let the quotes run forth

2005-10-14T14:49:00.000-05:00

i would like first of all to tell everyone that my great and wonderful friend named bob has a quote page. and seeing as i for some reason made a rule to never quote myself on my own page, you can now read them on his. oh happy day, the world will finally see my genious comedic timing.

secondly, everyone needs to know that the picture page is finally up and running. i have posted three different sets of pics for you to enjoy. and the quote page has some very good new additions.

the mustang purchase has been delayed until i can find a better and more consistent job that will cover the payments each month. please be praying for that seeing as i have found the most amazing one ever this past weekend while my parents were in town. and i got to see krystal again for the second weekend in a row and that was totally awesome cause i never get to see her anymore since i can't really travel this semester. anyway that's all i have for you right now. more to be posted soon, i hope...

the great wall of writers block

2005-09-23T02:39:00.000-05:00

as per alli's wonderfully insightful comments i grant you post number two of the week. let me assure you alexandra that a full month of writers block is in fact possible. i would sign on to the site at least twice a week to write about what was going on in my life and for the life of me couldn't find the words. and for one reason or another i have found the words once again to express, hopefully with some humor, the events that have transpired in my life. so, i remain apologetic still for my lack of entries lately, but i will try to do better.

oh and as per the women side of the last entry, there are EXTREMELY few exceptions to my statement. mostly i am sick and tired of drama and inauthenticity that women i spend time with seem to exhibit. once again i mean absolutely no disrespect to women, and i still love each and every female i know. i would just like to meet a woman, my age alli, that can be as honest in word and action as i feel that i am. and if she has questions or doubt then she should ask me. how i long for the day that a woman respects me and admires the man that God has made me to be. goodnight all.

the reality of man's sinful nature and the reason women make no sense

2005-09-22T02:09:00.000-05:00

ok, i realize it has been a month and a half since my last update and i apologize to you my faithful readers. so i trust that this will hopefully appease you as to prevent another uprising in your newfound union. i would love to keep up with this thing more because it has been such a great outlet for me to use, but i have been suffering from a severe case of writers block. anyway, i hope you enjoy what is to come.

an interesting experience occurred in my life recently. it gave me new insight into the nature of sin in mankind. on monday night, as what is par for the course for monday nights anymore, i was at ole south and working on school stuff. this group of middle aged adults walked in clearly on the intoxicated side of mental capacity. one of the men in the group received a phone call and walked into the back room. out of nowhere the guy drops the f*bomb and throws a chair across the room. this continues on a few minutes when an employee tries to calm the guy down. the drunk guy then begins beating the employee and throws him on the ground. next the manager, who is at least 60 something years old, tries to break it up and gets pushed to the ground. finally one of the guys friends gets up and tries to stop him and gets hit in the face as well. somehow he calms the guy down and gets him to leave when he proceeds to peel out of the parking lot. i was amazed at the atrocity of this mans actions. then i realized how sad and pathetic he was and how hopeless his life is that a phone call set him off as it did. i pray for that guy and i hope that i will remember him always.

now to the point i am sure that caught your attention, the reason that women make no sense. i have come to the conclusion that women have obsolutely no idea what it is they want in a man. they may say they want one thing, but the guys the end up with totally fail to hit that mark. now i grant you that matters of the heart never make sense to anyone. i have come to a point in my life when this little game we call dating is not worth freaking out over. if the girl i am interested in is being dramatic or just plain weird about stuff between us then i drop it. i just don't have the time to play games anymore. my heart and my nerves just can't take it anymore. one of these days maybe i will find a girl who can be honest both in word and in action. i don't know where to find such a girl and i'm beginning to wonder if there is a girl like that out there for me. and girls, let me ask a huge favor, if you aren't interested in a guy and he asks you to go do something, SAY NO!!!!!! i realize that you are sweet and don't want to hurt the guys feelings, but trust me it hurts worse when you go out and don't want to be there.

anyway, that's all for now. and as for girls, i am done with them for a while. i am tired and i just want the drama to end. goodnight all.

a job well done

2005-08-04T14:03:00.000-05:00

anyone that knows much about me knows that i long for the day when i stand before the Lord and He puts His hand on me and tells me that i did a good job. i remember my dad doing the same thing when he first told me that i was a man. guys you know how cool this is if you have experienced it, and if you have not, you look forward to the day it happens. i have often said there are really only two people in this world that can make a man feel like a man. they would be his father and his woman (ladies i do not mean that in a derogatory way i promise). when my father told me that is was like cementing in concrete what i have longed to achieve, and with my fathers approval and recognition it affirms it. and the woman in our life, that female that we love and adore, when she holds us to the standard of Biblical manhood and affirms it we feel that we are on top of the world. anyway, the real reason for this entry is to tell about my experience last night.

any man or woman that goes into ministry does so with the intention, hopefully, of leading others to the Lord and then sending them out to do likewise. last night at youth group one of the guys in my sunday school class spoke to us. he did so because of what God had laid on his heart, which was evident in the fact that he almost cried about a dozen times. it was so awesome to see him step up on stage and pour his heart out to his peers and adults in the group. then afterwards i had an awesome conversation with alexandra about God, life, and love. it never ceases to amaze me how much i get from the conversations with the youth. i will defend to the death the right for each of them to do what pat did, and support the passion that they all posess. i will never allow someone to look down on them because they are young. and i will step aside in any circumstance if just one wants to serve in some capacity. so a note to all my yoots at mgbc, i love you all, each of you, and i will do anything to help you learn more, grow in faith and love, and serve if you need me. because if i don't then i shouldn't be in ministry at all.

continued amazement

2005-08-01T09:34:00.000-05:00

yesterday was a trip. no wait, let me back up to saturday night. got home from vacation around 8:30 saturday night and shortly there after got a call from josh letting me know that he and his group were going to billy bob's dance hall again. me, not having any ironed shirts inform him that i would be a while. went to bb's and had an ok time, not too many people were all that interested in dancing. so we left and came back to my place and played games. went to bed and set my alarm. wake up the next morning extremely refreshed. so much so it had me worried a little considering i my alarm hadn't gone off. roll over and grab my cell phone to find that it is after 10 and i was supposed to meet rob and the youth for breakfast at 9. i take the fastest shower of my life and drive, not speed, off to church to at least make the service. which i did and it was great.

despite the great service and lunch following, i cannot shake the anger i have at myself. i have been a leader in the church for over a decade and have made this irresponsible before. it is so frustrating to make such a stupid mistake as not checking the alarm to make sure it is set for a.m. instead of p.m. rob of course is understanding as always, but i still feel terrible. i have a responsibility to be there and i failed. i have a responsibility to be an example to the youth and i failed there too. through much prayer i finally gave it up to God and was able to move on.

after a long and amazing nap i discovered i had missed a call from my friend john from high school. he told me that a mutual friend of ours was earnestly trying to get in touch with me. he didn't know what it was, but that it seemed pretty personal. now this mutual friend is not someone i have heard from in well over a year and so just imagine my surprise when i hear she is trying to touch base again. so i call her and find out that she has seen her brother come to God and how radically it has changed him and is starting to ask questions. she started praying about it and had a couple of dreams in which she saw me and i asked her to go to church with me. thus the phone call out of the blue. it was hilarious because she kept saying how sorry she was that this seemed so weird. i assured her none of it was. that God was reaching out to her and revealing himself to her and needed further revelation through another source, me. long story short, when she gets back in town she will be coming with me to church. may God never stop amazing me.

oh, and if lauren reads this i want to add that you STILL haven't returned my phone call. ;-)

life, love, and missions...

2005-07-19T18:45:00.000-05:00

as the craziest summer of my life comes to a dwindling hault i am left with an abundant amount of things to reflect upon. though i have not posted much this summer, it is not from a lack of material to work with. much of what has transpired has hit so deeply that i have not been able to vocalize it in much of any form. and so this may end up being the longest entry of all time. for those of you strong enough, or those actually interested enough, you may want to get up and stretch or go and get yourself something to drink before continuing any further...ok are we all good now. great, then let's continue.

so life has been incredibly busy from the class i took in may, the paper that i had to do for it, youth stuff, and traveling almost every weekend my life has been hectic. i finally sat down a few weeks ago and plotted out my very first monthly budget based on what i earn each month. it is weird to think of me doing that since i used to avoid responsibility like the plague. thus far i have stood pretty decently by that budget and so am exceedingly proud of myself. family stuff is going well, no surprise there really. i may even have an opportunity to live with my sisters boyfriend should a job opportunity arise in the metroplex area. i must say i am incredibly excited about that possibility. another new development for me is that my parents have decided that it is time for me to get a new car. this has been an incredible time for me trying to balance the responsibility of buying a car that i want and one that makes sense. please be praying for me in this area still seeing as i am struggling with buying the car of my dreams, a new mustang, or the somewhat more responsible choice of a honda accord coupe.

in life and love i have to say i have learned a ton from my youth this summer. something i have seen in them that i know is in each of us is how we have no idea what it exactly is we want out of life and love. we like to think that we do, and yet i have realized how much God is involved in this process. He grants us small little tid bits of things we need, but like most things in life this is only the tip of the iceburg. according to my youth i have had four loves this summer. which i find incredibly humorous seeing as the only basis for this that they have is my flirtatious nature. now i will not deny that the four girls in question were all amazing and have great potential. but i no longer will base my feelings for a girl on initial attraction and the brief period of time spent getting to know them. if there was only one thing i learned with kara it would definitely be this. i must know the girl well before i get into a committed relationship with her. so thank you to all my youth who think i am in love with any girl my age that i meet on our trips. i love you all.

mission trip was amazing. if you would like to know about it give me a call because i am now tired of typing and would rather have a good conversation anyway.

missing austin

2005-06-28T13:56:00.000-05:00

this weekend i got to go to my home of hearts, austin. i love that city. i forget how much fun it is and how beautiful it is when i'm up in the metroplex. i miss barton creek, ultimate frisbee fridays with the boys, hanging out with a lot of really cool people every night of the week, and man oh man what an awesome place for evangelism. i truly miss spending time with stephen and the doug. and every time i go back i meet some cool new person from the stone.

hung out with stephen almost all day on friday just bumming around. he showed me the house that he and a bunch of our friends may live at next year. the house is amazing. so amazing that it made me want to move back to austin just so i could live with them and have the coolest hang out spot ever. not too mention the most spontaneous and random late night stuff that may happen. like the new game they showed me, smileyball. it is so much fun. it is basically just regular volleyball but on a tennis court. trust me, it rules.

now i'm back in dfw and wishing the seminary and my church were both in or around austin. ahh well, ce la vie right. oh and by the way, batman begins is probably the second best movie of the summer.

confessions of a sinful heart

2005-06-20T02:35:00.000-05:00

habitual sin is a terrible thing. the worst it seems when past sins that have been seemingly conquered, peak their ugly little faces at me. tonight was a bad night. yesterday started off amazing. i had a great sunday school lesson with the guys. we talked about how often we are like the disciples in our committment to Christ. we focused on the betrayal and arrest of Jesus as portrayed in matthew's gospel. afterward, i challenged the guys to look at their lives and see the places they aren't showing a commitment to God in.

after sunday school i high tailed it to belton, texas where i was meeting my family for a nice fathers day meal. the drive was long and incredibly noisy due to my lack of a window on the passenger side(note here to those who don't know, my truck was broken into on friday and i haven't gotten the window fixed yet). then, thanks to my no window and trying to talk on the phone i got bad directions as to where to go in belton and thus got lost. i hate getting lost more than i hate pickles and we all know how i feel about those. lunch was good and i got to hang out with my dad and a day dedicated to fathers. then i drove home with the noise and ended up getting stuck in traffic for half an hour.

when i got home i was tired and so tried to take a nap. all i really did was lie there thinking of all the things i should be doing, and what a bad week this has been. i know, i know. wallowing in my own self pity is a bad idea. well let me tell you why that is. it can be used as a foothold for satan. if i didn't hate him so much i would really be impressed with his craftiness and resourcefulness. anyway, i digress. instead of getting up and being responisble, i played halo. now there are definite times when i can be competitive. it is nothing like how competitive i get when i am cranky, angry, and tired. usually i don't let games, sports, etc get on my nerves, but tonight was different. i consider myself to be a pretty decent halo player. enter in the foothold that satan had gotten on me. tonight i was playing terribly. i could do nothing right and it got on my very last nerve. to the point that i started doing something i haven't done in almost six years. i cursed up a storm. we aren't talking fringe words here people, all out badness. i am so angry with myself for being so stupid, immature, irresponsible, and unChristlike that i am sickened with myself. i have never used halo as an outlet to share my faith, and now i have set back any potential i may have had.

i had my doubts about whether i should post this or not, but i want to be upfront and honest with each of yall. i struggle a lot. i wish i could say i have more success stories than i do failures, but this is just not the truth. as soon as i caught what i was doing i could see nothing but the face of Jesus, hanging on the cross with blood streaming all over His body, and a look of pity and love all the more. the second thing i saw was the youth at my church hearing me say those words that i hate so much. i hate weakness. i hate sin. i hate screwing up and disappointing God and those i love so dearly. i ask for each of yalls forgiveness and i hope that you will pray for me and my weakness. and also pray for those ears that heard those terrible words that came from my mouth, that they would not judge Jesus based on His weakest link.

a topic for discourse

2005-06-16T12:34:00.000-05:00

there is a plague running rampant through our culture today. not only is chivalry hanging on by a mere thread thanks to flaming liberal feminists(side note, i am all for womens rights). not only is integrity just a word our parents used to use. but i believe that the plague of being fake and two-faced is killing what is left of people's trust in each other. Jesus dealt with two-faced people in His day and age. you know what He called them...hypocrites. the word in greek means "mask wearer," because they were not who they appeared to be. where is it that we learn to be this way?

when i was growing up, my parents taught me that it is not ok to lie. even if it meant saving a person's feelings, because some day they might find out that you lied about it and that would hurt them more than you being honest would. i think as christians we are the worst. because we have been revealed to what sin truly is and why it is such a bad thing. we are told in God's Word that sin is in our very nature and that we are prone to sin before doing the right thing. yet there are many times we leave out the promise God has for us. that with His help we can overcome these things in our life and become a person who does the right thing. not because it is the right thing, but because it glorifies our Father.

my mother and i have had long discussions about what accountability is in a christians life. i have discovered why it is that accountability never worked for me before in my life. it was because i viewed accountability as merely confessing my sins and struggles with someone and them telling me what to do/not do. that is not accountability. accountability in it's truest form should be the act of being held to a responsibility. ladies and gents, we have a Responsibility to be better people. people that are honest, good, kind, and compassionate. maybe if we learned to not be fake and be open and honest with each other then the unsaved world wouldn't think we are such hypocrites.

my challenge to all is this, that from this day forward you unlearn that which made you dishonest. this does not mean that i permit brutal honesty, though it is needed at times. be honest and truthful, but do so with gentleness and respect. the problem with learning to do this properly could be why we lie in the first place. make sure the person gets the point you are trying to make, but don't just come out and say something like; "your cooking is terrible and i never want to eat with you again." does that make sense? i love you all, and i just want katie lambert to know that this entry was partially inspired by her.

a verse to leave you by: 1 Peter 2:1-3

a tribute to tasty fish(aka opsarion)

2005-06-02T14:24:00.000-05:00

first of all my good friend let me specify that the initial post, seminary frustrations, was in no way written in anger toward you, but an outpouring of frustrations that I have had since arriving at seminary. as for the somewhat hurtful comment on being content with my "limited knowledge of God's word," let me also say(90% in love and 10% in defense) that i am never satisfied in my search of God in order to understand His will. what i have become content with is the fact that there are answers to which i will never truly know until the day Christ Jesus calls me, us, home. till that day i try to challenge myself, and those i may teach along the way, to realize that there are things in God's word that don't line up to what we may think or have thought at one time.

the true frustration about seminary to all my faithful is not challenging or seeking knowledge that one can receive from studying at seminary. it is in the fact that too many of it's students spend all their time arguing and debating about topics to which answers only lie in God's knowledge seem a waste of time to me, when, in my opinion, we should be concentrating on the Truth that leads non-believers to Christ. in no way do i want to simplify the complexities of scripture or God, but i do want to focus on those that could care less about those issues since they don't even believe in a loving God who desires all men to be saved. i believe that to be the real reason people are falling to mormonism, jehovahs witness, and the like because evangelical christians spend so much time arguing semantics rather than focusing on loving the sheep of this world. i do submit to you that having a working knowledge of continual transformation of scripture is VITALLY important in the christian life, i just see too much dissention stem from such debates among believers and it breaks my heart. it is the reason for so many denominations when we should be united under Christ in order to further His kingdom.

to the question of why i attend seminary it is to aquire knowledge beyond that of dnows, worship bands, and such. though that is a reason i came in order to be trained how to do something i didn't previously know how to do. God forgive me if that is an inappropriate reason, but hey, i'm not perfect. i also came to meet and fellowship with fellow brothers and sisters that desire to work in God's ministry/mission field. so i apologize to those who may be offended by my cavalier attitude of desiring to serve and love God's people and the lost more than reading the abundant supply of resources available to me during my long hours of work at the library. i will be sure to check out said book and read it this summer, to that you have my word. and so i leave you with this challenge, do not assume that those who focus on the five points of the Gospel according to jason do not also desire a better, working knowledge of God's word.

almost to the end

2005-05-26T13:56:00.000-05:00

thank you one and all for the many, many, many comments on my last entry. i apologize for my lack of attention in the blog arena these past few weeks, but i have been incredibly busy. what with work, youth, class, studying, errands, bills, moving people in and out, and being in a wedding i have had to manage my time and put some things aside that i just did not have time to spend on. and so here is a list for those of you that like them on the feedback of these things:

1. work at the library, while boring normally, is dreadful in the summer when no one is around.
2. my youth are amazing, and i have missed out on a lot of stuff due to my schedule and i appreciate their patience and love. even though they act mad at me when i get back, i know it's because the love me.
3. class is great. by far the best theology class that i have taken. and might i add, even though it is a lot of work in a short period of time, i-terms are the best.
4. as for errands, i am beginning to wonder how these things grow and add more to them. how on earth did i get these things done when i was at UT?!?
5. amy and ek moved out and i helped when and where i could. it has been a little sad without them around. john moved into his new place with his bride and that was an adventure to say the least.
6. john and candace's wedding was awesome. and considering i thought it was going to be me and a whole bunch of my married high school friends, it wasn't too akward.
7. got to see krystal's new place on my way to san antonio, where the wedding was. it was a cool place and i think it very much fits her personality more.

so there you go, a new post with a new twist on catching yall up on the events of my life. enjoy!!!

sniffles

2005-05-12T14:41:00.000-05:00

i hate allergy season with a strong and intense passion. like a thousand suns intensity. all day i have been sneezing and sniffling and it is driving me insane. this is not what i had intended to post today, but i just need to vent a little. my other entry will have to wait for later due to it's more serious nature.

seminary frustration...

2005-05-05T12:25:00.000-05:00

well the semester is done. yesterday i turned in my very last thing to clear up a problem with one of my papers. so this week has been interesting from being sick, to finals, to the paper thing. yesterday after turning in the paper i was dead tired. still not feeling a hundred percent i decided that i needed some sleep before the b.a.r.n activities. so i went home and hopped in bed for a little nap. long story short i slept through my alarm, not an excuse yall and i hate myself for it, and missed youth stuff last night. this "stinks," or "inhales vigorously," since i will not be at church on sunday. i hate missing time with the mgsm'ers. time with them is pretty much the highlight of my week. ugh! i hate being sick too. oh, and speaking of being sick, thanks to all the wonderful comments on my last entry. they meant a whole lot to me. and donna, i just may take you up on that soup next week if i still feel sick because there is no way that i am missing three meetings in keller.

anyway, to the topic of the day, seminary woes. not only does it inhale vigorously that i work at a library which is painfully quiet and dull, but today of all days i got into a theological debate with two of my co-workers. this would in no way have been a bad thing except ironically one of my co-workers was attempting to say he was breaking the so called pre-concieved notions we all hold as conservative evangelicals. he did this of course with the pre-concieved notion that we are all stuck in those pre-concieved notions he was attempting to break. now i am a curious human being that loves to think and contemplate many things. i am not however the type of person that dwells on issues of theology. i love to learn more about God and how He works in and through His creation. i don't however, research it to the bone and think that it means i have the only possible answer there is. absolute Truth is found in scripture alone i agree, but i think the only thing that we can honestly say we know beyond a shadow of a doubt is that there is a God who loves us, sent His only Son to die on the cross for our sins, that His Son was raised to life and ascended into heaven defeating death, and that our purpose on this earth is to Trust and Obey Him and teach others this same Fact. Everything else is important in our understanding, but it should not affect this most important and concrete Truth one way or the other.

sorry about the ranting but i just get so frustrated with people at seminary that turn God into a thing that can be studied and figured out to it's fullest extent. i say, let God be God and man be man and worry about those outside His grace and mercy. maybe if that happened then His name would be proclaimed throughout the earth. how i long for the day when every knee will bow and every tongue will profess Christ as Lord.

being sick sucks

2005-05-02T13:38:00.000-05:00

well it finally happened. the flu that has been plaguing mgsm has finally breached the tough barrier that is my immune system. last night was no mucho bueno. so if yall will leave me comments encouraging me maybe i will get better faster. this is probably the shortest entry of my career but i simply have nothing else to say. sigh!

the much anticipated entry

2005-04-29T11:08:00.000-05:00

wow it has been rediculously too long since i last posted. i want to apologize to my regular viewers, ie alli jean, ek, and trigun, for having taken this long. i will do my best now that school is almost done and i will have nothing to do while i work at the library. although, i just signed up yesterday for an i-term class that is three weeks long. this makes me happy because i didn't take enough hours this semester and i really, really, really would like to graduate SOON. hopefully after next semester i will have the majority of my theology classes done. yay for me!!! speaking of school it has been pretty stinkin busy for me the past few weeks. and now that i think about it, i realize that i just signed up for a three week course. and what do three week courses mean, lots and lots of work in a short period of time. i'm such a genius.

anyway, last weekend was dnow. it was so awesome. i got to serve in a totally new way and i had so much fun doing it. it was such a great learning experience for me. chris spoke and had a slight mishap which i was able to help encourage him and pray for him through. the youth were so awesome about the whole thing and are such awesome hard workers. the church looked amazing. not too mention that i finally had the opportunity to have my austin friends come up and lead groups. i have been looking forward to that for a long long time. it was the first time i ever got to do ministry with krystal which was a way awesome new experience with her. she made me laugh when at the end of the weekend she comes up with tears in her eyes and told me how bad she wanted to move to keller. hah! i told you so. my kiddos are the most amazing ever.

well, i realize that once again this has just served as an informative entry on my comings and goings the last few weeks. i will post again later this weekend to try and bring yall entertainment, or at least some more of the inner workings that is my spaztic mind. love yall.

to my kiddos

2005-04-15T09:12:00.000-05:00

i uncontrolably miss my yutes. it is not something i can accurately depict for you using a keyboard. my week has been amiss without getting to see them. i honestly feel that something is missing from my life right now because i didn't see them on wednesday night. i guess i just need to be patient, i mean afterall, i am going to see them on sunday. but that just isn't enough for me. i want to be there all the time. to be around whenever they could possibly need me. why is it that i am stuck here going to school when i could be up with them daily serving in whatever capacity i could. alas, God has me here for a reason. and to Him i will be obediently patient. i love you all more than you could possibly know.

to those this may concern

2005-04-12T10:18:00.000-05:00

i will admit to all that i am a very opinionated person. at least that is how most people refer to it anyway. to me, i would rather be considered a very convicted person, or conviction led. sometimes, when in conversation with another person, i may not know what to say or how to say what it is that i am thinking. or, it could be that i realize the conversation is going nowhere fast and that, especially in a debate, the person does not or will not come to understand what i am saying and so i simply end the conversation. what i realize at that point in a conversation is that maybe God has not brought this to light in that persons life, or that this person is not going to come to that point in their life. either way, in order to preserve the relationship i attempt to change topic or whatever.

when this happens i may come across as if i look down on the person or persons i am speaking with. this is simply not true in any way. trust me folks, if i looked down on a person they would know it. i would in no way be subtle about my distaste for that person and what they have to say. my mother has been trying, throughout my entire life, to help me be a more subtle person in these areas, but to no avail. not that i haven't improved, but i simply cannot tolerate some people. i don't feel a need to hide the truth of what i think or feel and so am blatantly obvious in both action and word. my mom also taught me that i must accept my friends warts and all. which simply means that no one is perfect and i need to accept that. she also told me that there are going to be people that i will not like and to just avoid them and be courteous. i fail sometimes in the courtesy area, but i do avoid these people.

if you are close to me, and i ever do or say anything that makes you interpret my actions in this way, then please accept my most sincere apology. i love each and everyone of you and i hope to not do this in the future.

and we are back to the week long gap

2005-04-08T20:02:00.000-05:00

my apologies to all for not updating. i know y'all get on here every single day and as you click on my the link to my page you say to yourself, "i wonder what great and awesome thing jason has for me today." today would have been a day of multiple entries, but alas, blogger has decided to be stupid and have issues most of the day. so anyway, now that it is working i finally got the stuff on that i did this morning and afternoon. the pictures page has a new entry (no still no pictures as of yet), and i have made a large addition to the quotes page with four whopping big quotes from actual people.

God has been convicting me like crazy again about being a man that not only is led by his faith, but one who disciplines himself in all areas of life. i wrestle daily with my inner desire, and i realize that this desire was put in me for good, but i want to fulfill it selfishly. what i want to know is, how do i live for God and fulfill my desire?

the ironies of my brain intrigue me and so, since i am in a list mood, i shall list them here for you:

1. i love learning, yet i hate school.
2. i love being active, yet i am one of the laziest people on earth.
3. i love getting exercise, see the lazy comment above.
4. i love working, yet i am constantly late.
5. i love those closest to me, yet i continuously hurt them.
6. i hate sin, yet there is habitual sin in my life.
7. i hate being prideful, yet i am prideful about a great many things.
8. i hate being irresponsible, yet i play video games and sleep far too much.
9. i hate wanting new things, yet i spend time online looking for the coolest new stuff available.
10. i hate being alone, yet i am by my own choice.

happy practical joke day

2005-04-01T09:22:00.000-06:00

i feel the need to tell you all something. my mom is a great woman. she is loving, affectionate, sweet, and just an all around great person. my whole life she has taught me how to act like a caring and kind adult. she has frequently scolded me for enjoying practical jokes and playing them on and with my friends. to her it is simply mean and cruel. now i have to agree that there are times when people can go to far...cough...chris...cough. but as a whole as long as there is no maliciousness, or sadism, then i love them.

here's the catch though. every april fool day, or as i like to call it, day my mother is possessed by aliens day, she gets every one of the members of my family. this is highly irritating because she is extremely convincing. she decides to pull things that are highly probable. i can't think of one at this time, but trust me, they are good. however, the past two years she hasn't been able to get me. and it has been the cause of great pride and gloating toward the other members of my family. hah, and she won't get me this year either. well i might as well let yall know that this will more than likely be a multiple post day. i figure i have a lot of catching up to do in the post arena. but this will do for now.

a tribute

2005-03-29T10:32:00.000-06:00

so generally after a long break between posts, i just ramble on and on about what i've done the past week. today i give a brief rendition of what happened, and then i would like to talk to y'all about a very special person in my life. busy last week with work and school and youth stuff. satyr dinner on friday night, which was cool. saturday surprised mi madre for her birthday. school and work since i've been home. there, very brief.

and now i would like to tell y'all about a special little person in my life. her name is krystal dawn mullins. in my previous entry i mentioned what i had done over spring break and, mistakenly, left out that sweet and precious little thing. it hurt her feelings. i promised her i would discuss only her in the next entry and this seemed to please her. thus, i have been racking my brain for a creative way to talk about her. this has taken many different forms in my mind. my favorite of which was probably the eulogy idea. i was going to try and be poetic to voice how great she is and how much she means to all those around her. but alas, i am seemingly void of any sort of literary prose. and so, i am stuck writing in my own spaztic way about the greatness that is krystal. and a note to her, i am sorry i was such a jerk on saturday and skipped out on hanging out with you. trust me i would much rather have spent the time with you. love you tons sweetness.

a question to ponder: what do you do when you find out your best isn't good enough?

spring break

2005-03-21T10:53:00.000-06:00

ok, i hope that the lengthy gap between posts should hopefully be at an end. with spring break last week i was definitely void of a computer and so was unable to post. be sure to visit the quote page and read my tribute to one of the greatest movies of our time.

speaking of spring break, it rocked my face off and hasn't stopped. had lots of fun goofing off and hanging with my yutes the first half. we worked on the barn and made it look cool. came up with some new ideas and names for stuff. kit came up with the acronym of the b.a.r.n standing for bible study and recreation night for our wednesday night stuff. the girls painted a sweet looking logo on the doors and back of the stage. rob and i discussed getting more couches to put in the barn so it is less class room feel, and more fun hang out place.

thursday i went to austin to see my friends. it is always such a trip when i am down there. i really miss hanging out with stephen and the doug on a regular basis. while i was there, i definitely switched all my information to my new cell phone and played with it for quite a few hours. also, i learned the extent of the infamous hippo caper and will at a later time publish the genius letters that came from said caper. did i mention i love my new phone? and to top it all off, i have furthered my understanding of some pre-existing thoughts and beliefs thanks to the movie hitch. for those of you that know me well, you know that i make tons of associations about life, love, and faith to movies. especially my rockin life together team. anyway, i feel that this is plenty for the day, and i have to go to class soon.

p.s.

2005-03-11T10:53:00.000-06:00

yeah i realize this is a long day to get through but hear me out. i forgot to add that i am sort of getting tired of my main page. so i definitely need some opinions on whether or not to change it again.

most random post of all time

2005-03-11T10:21:00.000-06:00

ok so here we go. it has definitely been a week since i posted. and, to my credit, blogspot has either been having server problems, or they just plain don't like me because i have not been able to sign in to post in over two days. so just to let my faithful readers know i have not been blog anorexic (props to beth on that one). although it has certainly been a crazy week.

on monday, for all you faithful, i had a date. my first in over nine months. we saw the movie hitch, which is probably one of the greatest comedic movies of all time. but yeah, i definitely stayed up late talking with her and only got about three hours of sleep. hung out with her again on tuesday night till late once again, which by the way is due to our schedule of working late. went to bed after she left and woke up on wednesday around noon and called her to go to lunch. definitely a first for me to end the second date, sleep, and get up for a third. we also hung out last night but not nearly as late.

work has been highly entertaining this week for some reason. miss alexis has been in rare form. tuesday she had kind of a bad day and my buddy jonathan and i were ready to crack some skulls. which is ironic since she decided to go to chapel with us yesterday and when we were walking down the hall of fleming she was in front and jonathan and i were walking behind her matching pace all the way down. i felt like a bodyguard, it was cool. and on top of that i have had many a laughs during the conversations between miss alexis and all her employee kids.

so maybe this isn't the most random post ever but the longest. oh, and i definitely think that if you enjoyed my posts on chivalry, you should definitely check out the doug's thoughts on the subject. you will have to scroll down a ways after his nonsensical blabber about computers. just click on the link that says "the doug." so on a scale of one to awesome, i'm...super great.

longest day ever

2005-03-04T11:32:00.000-06:00

ok, i know that i always get on here on fridays and complain about how i have to work at the library. most of you may be sitting there saying, "oh come on, it's a library, how hard can it be?" but that is just the thing. it is so easy that it is painfully boring. not to mention that it is so freaking quiet that i would almost rather drill a hole in my head with a very large drill bit. so, maybe that is just a tad on the exaggerated side. but i think you get my drift. it's dull. very, very dull. about the only thing i have to look forward to is getting online and reading everyones xanga. posting comments on them, and the returning to my site to see what y'all have thought about my entries, which varies almost as much as my sleep schedule.

this is what i've learned since joining the wide world of blogging:

1) alli jean is my number one faithful reader
2) no one has a comment, aside from alexandra, about what is probably my most in depth and serious entry of all time.
3) none of my austin friends apparently read this site, and considering this is mostly for them, i think i might be offended by that
4) girls are the only ones, aside from trey, that put anything substantial on their sites.
5) the doug really needs to post more often because i know his life is not that uneventful.
6) donna didn't get a xanga so she could post on her site, but so she could share her wisdom with the rest of us
7) has anyone else noticed ty's site has something negative about himself and an encouraging word from the lord for us to take to heart...is this what you call ironic?!?
8) my quote page has become infamous among social rings
9) i have begun to hate my stupid rule of not quoting myself, because i have some zingers

and last but certainly not least...
10) god uses this as a tool in each of our lives

chivalry

2005-03-02T00:42:00.000-06:00

well i am quite satisfied with the number of people who commented about my question on chivalry. this has been something on my mind for a long time. and i do mean that, we are talking like close to seven years now. and in that time i have claimed that it was still very much alive, that it was totally dead, and now must say that i agree with the wise and astute kathryn who said that it is not dead but on the high road.

the ironic thing about my thoughts on this subject is looking back at where i was at when i said or thought one of them. when i claimed that it was not dead i was a cocky, self assured/absorbed, ladies man that used chivalrous acts as a means to get the girl. which, actually detracts from those acts and kills it...dead. when i felt that chivalry was totally dead was when god had convicted me about the truth behind my previously held belief. he then took that revelation and turned into conviction. a multi-sided conviction to not only begin to change myself but encourage others to do the same. and i hold the current view based on seeing potential change in those around me.

donna is an amazing woman. she not only has a way of seeing into my posts in a sort of eerie way, but can give wisdom, encouragement, and insight as well. it isn't about doing the acts that are deemed chivalrous, but being. psychologists believe that if you change a persons behavior then their beliefs will change as well. which turns the doing part into the being. i could speak more on this subject easily for hours. but alas, it is late and i am covering someone's shift in the morning and need to sleep. more to be added later, and i am sorry for the lack of humor the last few days. love y'all tons.

sigh of relief

2005-02-28T11:11:00.000-06:00

well i finally have seen the end of what has been the craziest five weeks of my life. what with a retreat almost every weekend, visit from the folks, lots of work at the library and church, and not to mention classes and being sick. today i breathe a sigh of relief. god has done some amazing things during this time though, and i do this with no trace of regret. i love my calling and everything that it entails, even the really hard stuff that can wear out the body, mind, and soul.

dnow was amazing in both good and bad ways. and as miss alexis says, sometimes the good isn't as good as you think and the bad turns out to be a good thing. the bad was that satan was working really hard this weekend, both on the kids and on the leaders. but this means that god was doing something totally amazing to make satan work so hard. i saw god's provision for the other leader in my group which helped to encourage us both. and god put into the hearts of the boys in my group a desire that i believe can change their town. on almost no sleep i got up really early and drove the two and a half hours back to keller so i could be with my kiddos whom i love dearly.

as to me previous entry, the lesson on women has changed somewhat thanks to donna, and i don't think that i need to post it on here. but if you really want to know ask and i'll tell you. to add to last sundays crazy day i got to play knight in shining armor for my friend amy who was stranded at the airport. there is something totally satisfying in doing something to show respect to another person. which leads me to the question that i want to leave you with today, and i will comment on it at a later time.

is chivalry dead?

left in suspense

2005-02-25T11:02:00.000-06:00

so it has been a crazy busy week. the worst part is that i have found myself to be in a conundrum. on one hand i have not finished talking about my weekend last weekend, and have left some in suspense. then, on the other hand, i have had a crazy busy week in which i have learned many things about myself, life, and the mystery of women. so which do i speak on now?!? and, to top it all off, i have a dnow this weekend and will not be able to post till sunday at the earliest. ugh!!! well, i think i am going to ponder this and finish up this afternoon while at the other desk in the library. man fridays are long...

it's been awhile...

2005-02-22T19:33:00.000-06:00

sorry it has been a few days since my last post. it has been kind of a crazy past few days. so crazy in fact that either this will be a rediculously long entry, or...i will have to inform my faithful readers over the next few days of these events. even then they will probably end up being long entries. and so since i am incredibly lazy i will do the latter.

the visit with my parents was awesome. we went out to dinner on friday night and had a great meal, and really awesome conversation. then on saturday morning, me mum gave me a haircut. which probably is one of the best she has ever given me. after that, the three of us went to the reserves base to go get some cheap groceries that the parentals paid for. i love my parents, they seriously rock. late in the afternoon my little one and her beau arrived, and we all went up to keller to set up the flwc for worship. then we had an amazing meal at none other than el paseo.

sunday was a crazy awesome day. but, other than to say that my sis and jonny came to church with me, you shall have to wait till tomorrow to find out what else happened.

numa numa

2005-02-18T17:10:00.000-06:00

ok, so i saw this first off of rachel's site and thought it hilarious. but it was even funnier today, maybe because i am at work and the library isn't exactly the happening place for a friday. so yeah, y'all definitely need to check out the numa numa dance. try this link, and after it uploads be sure to click on the without subtitles link: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/206373

i am not sure how i should take this. it seems that my quote page has become this phenom and those faithful greatly desire an appearance on it. in one way i am greatly pleased, since the purpose of the site was to bring humor to your lives in the first place. secondly of course to merely prove to all of you that humorous things just happen to me on a regular basis. in another way i am somewhat disheartened. if i knew that it was going to be some sort of weird competition between friends to get on my site, then i would never have made it in the first place. you know who you are, and don't lie.

right, so today's post is a long one. it's ok because i only have one other thing to add. my parents are coming for a visit this weekend. i am looking forward to this since i missed out on seeing them last weekend when i was supposed to go sa for the weekend. and my mom just told me that my little one is coming tomorrow with her boyfriend to pick up his new car. it's going to be a great weekend. aight y'all, i'm out for now.

good burn

2005-02-15T23:56:00.000-06:00

right, so in my last entry i apologized to someone that i hurt. if you look now you will notice that that has been removed. and you may be asking yourself, huh i wonder why? well let me just tell you it is because this person was faking it. why did they do that? to make me feel bad and play a joke on me. and to that i say, good burn. next you may ask, i wonder who it was? none other than nathan merrill. that's right folks. don't let that youthful, mild mannered, "innocent" look fool you. no, no!!! he is a sneaky little bug, i don't mind telling you. i tackled him after watching "friday night lights" and he made it seem as if i had inflicted a serious injury upon him. nathan i only have one more thing to say to you, but i'm not exactly sure what that is so there...

satisfaction

2005-02-14T09:23:00.000-06:00

i am so pleased with myself right now. i'm sitting here at work, bored out of my mind and eager to get back to keller so i can hang out with the yoots, and so i figure i will get online and try to fix my blog. and even though i didn't think i could do anything about losing my links without the doug, i figured why not at least try. and lo and behold, i am a genius. it makes me so happy that i didn't need to have the doug explain it to me step by step. ahhh, satisfaction!

i'm a genius

2005-02-11T17:08:00.000-06:00

i told y'all i would more than likely get another post on here before the day was up. right, so since kat was the only one to comment on the background change i decided to try and add some color. though i am not exactly sure how i feel about this one either. what do y'all think? anyway, when i changed the background it apparently erased all my links to cool blogs and my quotes page. this makes me sad. i have been trying to get in touch with the doug all day so he could tell me how to add links on my page again. since i didn't bother to memorize the proper coding to put in. so kat, be patient, you will be added and so will all you other rockin people. aight i'm out once again.

to kat

2005-02-11T11:11:00.000-06:00

i apologize kat for not having you on my cool blogs link. but now, not only are you on there but you are the first one. so yeah, no more tears. don't let this fool you though, it doesn't mean that you are getting off the hook in any way. you will still get yours, i just felt bad. besides the only people that get on the cool link are those that make comments. that was more for other people and not for you kat.

so today is going to be a rediculously long day. i have been at work since 7:30 and will be here till 6. then i will go home, throw my bag in the truck, drive 4 hours to sa, and all this so i can do errands with and for the fam. i'm going to miss sunday morning and the lunch following at mgbc, but i will be back to hang out for sunday night stuff so i can get a fill of my yoots. yesterday was a lot of fun. hung out with jonathan for a while which was humorous as always. then, i went and purchased a new frisbee and went to the rac to play with some guys. it's amazing how good it feels when you get lots of exercise. that's all for now, but i am sure that i will post again before the end of my work day.

background change?

2005-02-10T10:07:00.000-06:00

so i'm looking at my blog and thinking to myself; "wow, this is a very plain and unexciting looking page!!!" so i'm wondering if y'all think i should change the look of my page in any way?

oh and by the way, everyone knows that i have gotten a job at the library on campus. what y'all may not know, however, is the fact that i have to wear a shirt and tie everyday. i must say that i actually don't mind too much. the funniest thing about it is when i get off work and go to chapel or something the response i get from people who know me. the best was a guy in my class last semester who was used to seeing me in jeans, a t-shirt, glasses, and lack of shaving. so he sees me in chapel and fakes a heart attack. then says to me that i look funny and that a tie is just not my personality. so question number two of the day is, should i take offense to that statement?

ok, well this was supposed to have been a short entry but alas, i am at work and bored because jonathan is being anti-social.

whatta wednesday

2005-02-09T23:42:00.000-06:00

sleeping in when supposed to be in chapel= happy jason

estimated thirty minute drive taking an hour and a half= irritated jason

quality time with the youth= contentment

peter pan complex

2005-02-08T02:18:00.000-06:00

if you know me well, you know what the title of this entry means. it has been both a long and short day. sleeping all day because i don't feel good has made it short, but it has been long because i miss hanging out with my youth. i wish i lived closer so i could see them more often, but alas God has called me to seminary and i must answer that call. oh well, at least these realizations encourage me in being a youth minister one day. thus the title of this short entry.

apologies

2005-02-07T11:56:00.000-06:00

ok, so maybe, just maybe, i overreacted a little bit in my previous entry. although i have gotten many comments since i last posted, and those are always nice. thanks for the vote of c the doug, that is of course what i figured as well. i don't know what it is about having this thing that is so much fun. oh, and another holla to my girl alli jean who leaves the most encouraging comments to date. oops, and to caitlyn, lest she pulls out all my arm hair. ;-) jk girl.

so this weekend was a ton of fun. student life conference rocked my face off. it was a blast hanging out with my yoots. i got the opportunity to get to know a few a lot better than i had previously which makes me extremely happy. david nasser wasn't scary or bad as he had been before which also made me feel better. sundays are quickly becoming about my favorite days. church was good, and then i went and had lunch with chris, stephanie, zack, robbie, chelsay, and alli. superbowl party was amazing, despite losing. so yeah, this is apparently my most serious entry ever. i think something odd needs to happen so i can make it more amusing.

for the love

2005-02-04T09:21:00.000-06:00

ok, so much for "faithful" "readers." aside from alli no one likes to comment. which means one of a couple of things. either a) you don't like my site. b) you think my entries are lame. or c) you are just simply to lazy to click on the little comment link and type a couple of sentences. so since the other two options make me sad i'll go with the latter. for the love people, just answer the freaking questions!!! i mean honestly, i don't do this for my health. it is for your amusement and information that i bother with this thing at all. ok, i feel better.

requests

2005-02-03T10:39:00.000-06:00

ok, so i feel the need to post an announcement. i am accepting requests of what you, my faithful readers, would like to see on my blog. it can be anything about myself that you may want to know. or it could well be just more of the randomness that is my "spaztic" mind. anyway, just felt like putting that out there.

on a side note, i decided to let the youth have my site address. i like to think of this as an opportunity for them to see me in a different view. come to think of it, that would be difficult. i don't believe that i act much different in front of them than i do in front of my friends. comments are appreciated. holla to alli jean who wrote me a rock my face off encouraging note yesterday.

sleep deprivation

2005-02-01T21:06:00.000-06:00

ok so i have figured something out about myself. when i am not getting enough sleep and become very tired, i become excessively energetic and honest, and truthfully, brutally honest. my co-worker and friend robert says that my "filter" breaks and that i just blurt out the first thing that comes to my mind. i probably should have realized this when in college a friend bought an outfit she wasn't sure of and making it sound like she wanted a response. at the time i had not slept in over 42 hours and was starting to lose it. what comes out of my mouth? "well let me just say it looks awful." did i realize it then? of course not. no, it did not reach my attention until the men's retreat this weekend. when, while standing around the campfire, i began to tell all the stupid things i have done throughout my life. this is not but two feet from rob, the youth minister, and mr farber, one of the deacons at my church. who by the way pointed out that he had the power to fire me. man i'm a genius...

confession

2005-01-30T21:54:00.000-06:00

ok so i'm only keeping up with this because... a) i want you to be able to read more than two entries and thus just filling it up with whatever...b) this is still a kinda new and fun thing to do...and c) i'm hoping that this is a positive and humorous part of your day. oh and thanks to the doug for being the first person to write a comment about my site.

so today was another awesome sunday at mt gilead baptist church. the people at my church rock. they are so loving and encouraging it's amazing. not too mention i have the coolest youth group on the planet. maybe one day i'll give them my blog address so they can read this too. oh well, maybe later...

doulos

2005-01-30T01:34:00.000-06:00

thank you Lord for burdening my heart...amen

in the beginning

2005-01-28T09:41:00.000-06:00

ok, so I finally decided to create my own blog. I don't know why, maybe it was the insane amount of pressure from my friends. or then again maybe it was just because I'm to lazy to write a bunch of emails and make it personalized to each individual person. knowing me, the latter is the more than likely the case. so anyway, going on the mens retreat thing with my youth guys this weekend. I hope that all goes well and we start seeing some leadership from them after the weekend is over. well this is plenty long enough so I will sign off...